So, NaNoWriMo starts in a couple of days. What is that insanely long acronym, you ask? National Novel Writing Month—a fun challenge for writers to motivate themselves to stop procrastinating and just write. And not just write whatever write. Write 50,000 words, write. That’s a lot of write(ing).
I’ve successfully done it in the past, but this year is going to be different.
This year, I have a writing buddy—yay! I’m so excited to have someone else I’m actively writing alongside. Someone who’s already been so supportive in getting me to write again. We are going to rock NaNoWriMo, I know it!
But there’s someone else in my life who is going to make things a lot more complicated this year, because he now doesn’t want to regularly nap. My 4 year-old.
Which means I’ve had to do extra preparations as I’m getting ready for the challenge. And as I got to it, it started sounding like I was doing something else.
So I decided to document the hilarious parallels. Enjoy and laugh and facepalm with me!
Preparing Yourself for NaNoWriMo with a 4 Year-Old…or…
Negotiating with a Drunk Friend…
—“Will you be okay if I leave you here for five minutes?” Will he? Or will you come back to a destroyed couch…and missing culprit? 99 times out of 100, it’ll be the latter.
—On the off chance he does decide to take a nap, make sure to have snacks and water handy when he wakes up in a super grumpy mood. Also, make sure to send him to the toilet first thing. Or you will regret it.
—“Please don’t take off your clothes right now.” You’re trying to write. He is trying to strip. And you’re in the middle of a Panera.
—It’s time to go to a write-in, but, “Where are your shoes? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?!” It’s a redundant question. You know where the shoes are. They are in the toilet.
—“No, no. Let’s keep the drink away from the computer.” Because, let’s face it, it’s going to be spilled at least once before it’s empty. And you don’t want your 49,999 words to end up as a casualty.
—Pointless arguments are the norm, but get ready for those too. “Nope, you can’t use the TV remote to unlock the door…It just isn’t going to work…Okay, you can go ahead and keep trying, I’m going to be over here writing…” (Cue the tears.)
—Which brings us to: Random meltdowns. The cap won’t go back on the water bottle, the wrong song starts playing on Pandora, and the world has suddenly ended. Just like your writing momentum.
—But not to be underestimated: the SILENCE. You’ve been typing for ten minutes without an interruption when suddenly you realize it’s TOO QUIET. Either fortune has smiled down on you and your companion is passed out somewhere, or you have something very VERY bad in store. There is no in-between.
Okay, all you writer parents (or drunk friend caretakers) out there, what are you doing to prep for NaNoWriMo? I’m going to need all the help I can get…